How to be a True Friend

Are you having problems with friends?
Does the relationship feel weird, strange, or one-sided to you?
Do you feel like you can truly trust your friends?
Did your friend do something that you don't feel like you can let go?

Friendship is a strange thing. To some, they can make friends in 10 minutes. To others, they don't feel like they are truly friends with someone until they've known them for months. Sometimes, opposites attract, but other times, it is obvious they would be best friends.
Unlike family relationships where you don't have a choice and they have to accept you because your blood, friendship takes a lot more work. So how do you choose the right ones?

For Christians, choosing the right friends can sometimes be very confusing. Jesus tells us to hang out with sinners, yet not to become one. However, in the end, he was always with his 12 disciples  At times, we may even get along better with non-Christians than those who call themselves Christian. Maybe, we are just very independent and don't feel the need for friends.

But before we can make good friends, we first have to ask ourselves if we are good friends.

For me personally, until recently, I was certainly the independent type. I didn't think I could rely on people, and I didn't want all the drama. In past relationships, I was certainly looking out more for myself than what I can put in to the relationship.

I started University this year, and it was certainly a new start. I lived in the same area since childhood and therefore never really knew what it was like to see new people, or be "the new kid". Out of the 3 classes I was taking, I only knew one girl from grade 9. We were...somewhat friends in high school, but because she loved to gossip, so I wasn't sure if I could trust her, but I still held on to her....it was better than being lonely in a boring lecture. We did become better friends though. :)

Luckily, I had the opportunity to make a couple other friends in school. In one of my tutorials, a girl invited me to sit by her since we were the only 2 in class (we were just really early, but talked because we didn't know what was going on). After exchanging numbers and email, we made sure to keep in contact. In lecture, her, my friend above and me sat together every class. Before this, I would always go to the front of the lecture and pick up extra hand outs for my friends since I was usually the first one there. It was a simple act of kindness, because if they were late, they would either have to line up, or endure the awkwardness of going in front of the lecture while the professor was teaching. They picked up on this, and now, if I was ever late, I know they would do the same for me. What else, if I ever go to a restaurant or "Timmies" before meeting up with a friend, I would always ask them if they want anything, and willingly buy it for them. It starts with YOU.  Even if it's just taking the time to teach them anything they don't understand, they will certainly appreciate it.

Besides giving, it's also accepting them for who they are. No one is perfect, nor is anyone going to be just like you. But that's what makes humans so special. In my Japanese class, because we had to make groups and often had to practice speaking to each other, I went out of my way to talk to as many people as I can. Before class started, I would often say a quick "hi, what's up" to the indian-looking girl who often sat at the back of the class. She seemed sweet, and I would of talked to her more, but when you sit in the front, it is hard to find a chance to talk. Right before our 3rd test, I asked her if she would like to be in my next skit group. She said yes with a smile....she later relieved to me that she was always last picked, or ended up being put in a group because no one asked her. I didn't know she was shy because she always talked when I talked. Having a shy friend in high school, I knew how they were. I accepted her, and I took the initiative to talk to her, but once she opened up, it was hard to believe she was shy. Anyways, she was failing Japanese, and I was getting an A, so I even invited her to my house, and thought her a few things just because. There was nothing in it for me, but I was looking out for her. That's what friendship is about.

Once you become a christian, there isn't much to "get" out of relationships because you get all you need from God. All you have is stuff to give. When you make the first step and show what an awesome friend you are, then they will step up to the plate to. Don't have expectations, and don't expect them to change. Be there for them in their good and bad, and have their back. Be sure to keep in contact! And forgive them when they make mistakes. Talk to them if you can't just let it go. And of course, have fun! That's how you can be a true friend.