Choice of Words

There are many bible verses that tell us to how hard it is to control our tongue like James 3:8, and the benefits if we do like Proverbs 21:23.

I have to admit, how you speak depends on who you are with. If your friends are gossiping, chances are, you would gossip to. You may tell the truth to your friend, but when you are up against your parents, the first thing you would want to do is lie. Maybe if you want to fit in, you will try to speak the same way they do.

I feel kind of blessed that I never swore in my life. Even when everyone else swore, I knew it was wrong and never picked it up. I did say the F-word once when I was really angry in middle school. You know those times when you just copy and repeat what the person said to you....I wasn't thinking. But besides that, I have never swore. For those who do swear, just start substituting. Ie, instead of the S-word, just say "Dog poop", or instead of the F-word, say "Fudge" or "Fiddlesticks". Once you master this, it would be easier to stop it all.

But besides swearing, how can we control our speech?

Well, first you must first accept that you are not speaking the way a christian should. Are your words seasoned with grace like Colossians 4:6 says? If not, you need help.

Second, pray about it. Let God know you want to change how you speak and ask for the spirit to guide you.

Third, start now! The best way to control your speech is to think before you speak. This old proverb knew what it was talking about. Even if what you say in your head is wrong, what matters in the end is what comes out of your mouth. Eventually, your mind will adjust and only think of what is appropriate to say. 'Fake it til you make it' as they say.

Lastly, grow a backbone! The hardest thing is to change in front of people who know who you are. Maybe if you always acted like they did, or spoke a certain way, it would be weird from both sides for you to speak nicer, but it is worth it! Start slowly. Back away from the gossip, or if they say something mean, just say "that isn't a nice thing to say". For me, my cousin was always a bit rough around the edges, and I was always the nice kid who just let her get away with everything. Even if she said something rude to or about me, I would let it go. When she was mean to someone or yelled at them, I didn't have the guts to step in. One time she got in a fight with my mom and was also yelling at everyone else to stay out of her business. I had something to say, and I no longer cared about how she thought about me. I told her what everyone else was thinking, of course, as nicely as I could. It was a big step for me. Speaking up is hard, but it is doable, even when up against someone who always stood above you.

Your actions and how you speak are both important in how people view you. Don't speak as the world speaks, speak as a Christian should. With grace, truth and peace.